Yesterday, I picked up my bridesmaid dress for my friends July 8th wedding. Its pretty cute, bright pink and it has POCKETS! SCORE. Now Ill have somewhere to stash my cell phone and Hershey’s kisses while walking down the aisle. Only problem is, I have arm-pit fat. Is that a thing? (If not, lets not start calling it Shelley Fat, that would just be humiliating.) If so, is there a way to get rid of it?? I mean, if necessary, I can Spanx and Miracle Push almost everything else into place, but the armpit area? Totally un-hideable in a strapless dress. I’m sure the Bride did this on purpose; she wants us to look bad so she looks exponentially gorgeous. That’s what Brides do, right? OK, Nikki would never do that, I’m pretty sure that I picked this dress for all five girls. However, it doesn’t help that I’m the only bridesmaid over 5’6” (6 inches taller than the second tallest girl) and that Ill probably be the palest one up there even if I start tanning now. I’m going to stand out like a sore thumb! Oh well, its not about me, I suppose. At least she didn’t put me in 30-yards of iridescent taffeta with puffy sleeves (although, that would have hidden the Shelley-Fat).
So, I have 89 days exactly until the wedding to get in tip-top shape. This requires doing something other than staring at the Wii console, wishing the blue glow to just go away. I’m pretty certain that the husband leaves the Wii on just to taunt me while he’s away. But avoiding the Wii isn’t completely my own fault. I mean, we have people living below us (who are gone during the day) and the Dog doesn’t like sudden movements (when he’s not asleep for 18 hours), and that damn Wii balance board guy is just too mean when he tells me its been 148 days since I’ve weighed in last. How can an inanimate object be so damn cruel?! I don’t like it at all. If I was in the mood for someone to be mean to me, I would get the Jillian Michaels routine…or admit to the husband that I’ve only used the Wii Zumba once since I insisted he buy it for me for Valentines day.
So, my question to you, how should I get rid of the armpit fat? OH, and in the process of trying the dress on for the picture, the Husband informed me of shoulder blade chunk also. Isn’t he a sweetheart? Any Suggestions? And while I’m at it, how should I wear my hair (its long, incase you can’t tell)? And what kind of jewelry should I wear? Oh yeah, my UGLY (sorry Nikki) shoes are in the process of being dyed (pink), so imagine that.
Thanks in advance for your advice!! Have a happy Weekend!!!!
xoshell
OMGSH!!! I was sitting in the office reading that and cracked up!! I'm sure anyone down the hall could have heard me. even though I'm sure you look FABULOUS in that super cute dress-love the pic-and even though you are super skinny I know no one can convince you other wise of your "shelley" spots. do you have dumb bells? I've heard that if you are laying on your back and use your dumbbells like a bench press it could help the boob areas. =)
ReplyDeleteKali wore that dress in my wedding, it is super cute. YOU are super cute!
ReplyDeleteTry lifting light weights. just to tone, not build muscle. google exersizes that would help?
How did I not see this post? Shoulder chunk? And you still want to be married to him? HAHAHA totally kidding, I kid. Shelley you are skinny as they come, AND most of the time there is NOTHING you can do about armpit fat, it happens to EVERYONE, that is why it's crucial to find the right dress that doesn't cause armpit fat. And I like the glimpse into your little Boston crib!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I don't see arm pit fat at all!!! Secondly, I always wear my hair half up for weddings and curled. Like a half poof, you know? I have very long hair too. I'm in a wedding Easter weekend and just took my dress to the tailor yesterday so they can take it in in the boobs. Of all places! I have big boobs so it's very strange. I have lots of fat everywhere and only a week and half to get rid of it! So basically I'm effffed. Just gonna do lots of cardio, watch my calories and drink lots of water. You can't spot reduce, but you can totally do cardio and weights and lose plenty of weight in 89 days.
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