Showing posts with label manicure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manicure. Show all posts

Episode Eighteen : Introducing the Househusband


Dear Bloggy

I’m sorry I haven’t written to you recently.  I can offer a thousand excuses that I had pre-prepared, but I know that you know me too well to believe anything I might throw at you other than the absolute truth.  So, I am sorry.  For some reason, in society people value a hard days work, and paychecks.  Don’t ask me why.  The husband just seems happier knowing that I’m stretching my brain while sitting under florescent lighting rather than when I was basking in the ability to nap anytime I want.  I.just.dont.get.it!

So, my job is pretty interesting.  I am solely responsible for marketing and branding a ridiculously wealthy company.  I don’t know why they picked me but I think I can handle it.  I was just watching ‘How its Made’ with the Husband and they showed an assembly line of people making lockers for a school.  Can you imagine being in the same place for 8 hours a day doing the same teeny meaningless task?  I said this to the husband, and he simply replied ‘people want those jobs right now, they’re secure and they don’t require you to think.’  Really?  Bloggy, I ask you, WHO doesn’t want to think?!  I am on the other side of the spectrum, thinking almost too much with this new job.  I think my brain is about to explode in technology-input-overload (hence me not blogging for a week).  I couldn’t manage to produce a single clear thought in sentence form, let alone make it interesting and witty.  Who knows if I’ve ever been able to do that, but last week, it was ridiculous.  I’m pretty sure I was talking in Acronyms.  On Easter, I may have actually said el-oh-el instead of laughing.

However, the lack of posting doesn’t mean that I wasn’t thinking of you, dear bloggy.  I began to compose about 4 blogs in the last week.  I even used you as motivation for a grueling task that I had to perform.  You see, I made a lemon cake, filled with home made strawberry/cream cheese and topped with homemade cream cheese frosting and fresh strawberry slices.  It was a masterpiece.  I took pictures of the whole act, but we can’t seem to find the Canon cord, alas, you do not get to see the pictures.  All for the better though.  We had Easter lunch down in Connecticut, a nice hour away, where the whole cake melted all over itself.  It was delicious nonetheless, but wasn’t as pretty as I had hoped.  If I had to look at the pictures today to post here, I would probably just cry. 

I also wrote a blog about my Friday confessions.  But the only semi-interesting confession was that while I sat responding to a weeks worth of blog postings, I ate half a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips.  I didn’t even realize I did it. To my own defense, I think the bag was full of air upon opening it.  But that’s not the confession.  After I finally realizing that I devoured half the bag of chips, I looked at my manicure, only to realize that somehow in that 30 minutes, half of my nail polish chipped.  I never found evidence of the chipping… but I continued to eat chips anyway.  Ha!  Oops. 

As I mentioned a week or so back, the House-o-Belmont is now without a fulltime housewife.  The husband and I worked out a clean-as-you-go plan that lasted about a day, but luckily, he’s on vacation this week, so the house has been staying fairly clean.  I shutter at the thought of what it will look like when my househusband starts back at school in 2 weeks.  For some reason, I don’t think I’m going to be able to train the dog to vacuum. 

OK, this is crazy long, and I don’t really have any fun pictures to put in, so Ill end it here.  Dear Bloggy, thank you for being a great follower and allowing me to know that you will always be here for me-even when I take a week away from you due to my brain leaking out of my ears. 

Xoxox.  Shell
PS, I just politely asked my Househusband NOT to do my laundry anymore.  What's worse, shrunken clothes, or doing laundry?  I'll let you know...

Episode sixteen : Its a Saturday...


I just got a job!  Yay Me!  You know what that means?  The House of Belmont will be without a Housewife.  I mean, I’m still going to live here, the Husband isn’t looking for someone else, but I wont be doing all those fun housewife duties – at least not as much as I was use to.  On Thursday, while we were celebrating with champagne, I brought this dilemma up to the Husband.  You know, now that I will be working 40-60 hours a week, I wont have time to cook, clean, shop, walk the dog, pick up dry cleaning, and all that other stuff that’s been keeping me busy for the last three months.  And let me tell you, I HAVE been busy.  But now, I’m bringing home the bacon, and I’m not gonna fry it up as well (especially considering I don’t even eat bacon!)  He insisted that we try something new.   Lets CLEAN AS WE GO.  Oh yeah, ok.  We’ll see how long this lasts.  He’s gone three months without touching the washer, and I’m pretty certain his hands are aren’t dishwater-safe. 

Last night (one day later), I opened a bottle of wine and left the tin and cork on the counter while I took a big swig as I wanted back into the office.  He so kindly called me into the kitchen and pointed to the trash and reminded me that we were going to clean as we go.  Oops, I figured you forgot about that, thanks for the reminder.  Damnit.  See, here’s the thing about me.  If we live together, and YOU clean, I will clean.  But if YOU are a slob, I will be a slob.  I’ve been that way with all of my roommates of the past.  I even warn them about it before hand.  It’s me, and to know me is to love me.  I can’t change.  I’ve tried. 

Fast forward to today.  I went into the kitchen to make lunch, only to find the sink full of dishes (somehow I was oblivious to them last night.  You see, I have that talent, its called selective-observation).  As I began to rinse and load the dishes, I found a lot of coffee cups.  Hmm, that’s strange, I stopped drinking coffee a few months ago, so that means…….  AH HA!!  MY TURN!!  I called the Husband up at his conference (After all, this was important!)

    Husband: Hello
    Me: Hi Stinks (pet name)
    H: Hey Whats up?  I cant talk for too long..
    M: That’s ok; I just wanted to tell you something.  Remember our Clean-as-you-Go rule? 
    H: Yeah?
    M: Well, I just found some coffee cups in the sink under the pans from last night’s dinner that you    
          made. 
    H: Oh…  Well…  the dishwasher needed to be emptied. 
    M: Nope, it was empty. 
    H: Oh.....
    M: But don’t worry; Ill put them in there for you. 


I just have one (over-used, obnoxious, cliché) word for this situation.

#Winning!

On a complete different note.  Remember that Manicure I got on Tuesday?  Gels, promised to last two weeks.  Its been 5 days, how do you recommend I go show the manicurist my boo boo?
pls excuse crappy photo quality, I was too lazy to turn on another light.